Two guys walk into a bar, separately, and have a seat at the bar.
One guy notices the other has a black eye, just like himself.
“Hey buddy, how’d you get your shiner?”
“Well, I was at the train station, and the ticket girl was fuckin’ hot. And instead of two tickets to Pittsburg, I slipped and said ‘two PICKets to TITTsburg’ and she hit me square in the face. How about you? How’d you get yours?”
“Something similar actaully! I was just having dinner with my wife, and what I MEANT to say was, ‘Honey, can you please pass the peas?’ But I slipped up and said “You fucking bitch you ruined my life!”